Views. Comment. Opinion. 7 reasons Halloween sucks now you’re an adult

Halloween is no fun when you’re no longer a cub (Picture: REUTERS)

Halloween used to be fun. There was free candy, there was fancy dress and there was more free candy.
But now you’re older, Halloween has lost its shine. There’s little to no candy, you’re expected to squeeze into a ‘sexy’ outfit that’s way to small and worst of all, it doesn’t even provide you with a bank holiday and a day off work. Overall, October 31 feels as hollow as that poor pumpkin you’ve just disemboweled…

1. It’s no longer acceptable to go trick or treating

Being too old to trick or treat means Halloween is no fun (Picture: AFP/Getty Images)

Most of us above the age of about 20 didn’t even really grow up in an era when trick or treating was widely practiced at Halloween in the UK, however, some of us caught the start of it all. Now if you turn up on someone’s doorstep and ask for stuff, they generally look concerned and/or angry and tell you to b***er off.
2. Now you have to give out the candy

Now you have to hand out the sweets instead of eating them (Picture: AP)

Not only are you not allowed to go round begging for free sweets anymore; you’ve actually got to give them out to a new generation of cheeky cretins. And very little will match the pain of parting with precious Drumsticks when really all you want to do is shout at the children saying: ‘That’s not how the world works, kid! Nothing in this life is free!’
3. Sexy Halloween costumes

Forget ‘sexy’. TOWIE’s James ‘Arg’ Argent has the right idea for Halloween – dress as a burger! (Picture: Xposurephotos.com)

The ever-worsening trend for barely-there devil costumes, or get-’em-out witch outfits has precipitated a new Halloween-related fear: the fear of being fat in your costume. As if we girls weren’t already dieting for bikini season, the Christmas party season and Official Diet Season in January, now we find ourselves in a situation where we have to diet before Halloween.
4. It’s expensive 

Halloween – even pets have to dress up now (Picture: AFP/Getty Images)

Between the costumes, the sweets and the pumpkins, Halloween can get extremely expensive. Even if you decide to ignore all that stuff and go out for a quiet drink, you’ll find a range of ‘Halloween cocktails’ (basically just orange drinks) being offered at five times the price of their actual value.
5. Carving pumpkins just seems like a waste of perfectly good soup ingredient

Pumpkin carving – looks great – would probably taste better (Picture: PA Wire)

Disposing of all that healthy pumpkin feels like an abomination when you’re hard-up, hungry and acutely aware of the environmental impact of food waste.
6. Halloween makes you fat

Yum – toasted marshmallows (Picture: AP)

And it’s no longer OK to be fat when you’re an adult, apparently. So it’s all very well scoffing your face with ill-gotten sweets and toasting marshmallows on an open fire (or… the kitchen hob, if we’re honest), but you know it’s only going to make you pile on the pounds. Halloween signals the beginning of the festive binge season and that’s just depressing…
Link to: http://metro.co.uk